THE MURDER MYSTERY
a band of thieves, not kidding, they'll steal the sheets off your bed

This is Crenshaw. I saw him slap a guy once. To the ground.

bio by M.Koshkin

Here's the deal: Dr. Stoykoff is a Swiss mathematician. He wears glasses with translucent rims. And he's the wrong guy to break a pool cue over in a bar in Austin. Did I mention he plays an organ from the sixties made of aborted hippy bones? Well that was a lie, but sometimes lies are all you're going to get.

Stoykoff is leaning over the bar to whisper mathematical codes to a beautiful anorexic bartender. She's diggin it…ya dig? WHACK!…a broken stick over the back.

Stoykoff's on the ground. Captain Longhorn's standin above him smilin.

Meanwhile Red's fixin up in the toilet, bangin uppers. Sweat is pouring out of his brow

Dana notices Stoykoff from across the bar. She gulps down her pint and rises like Jesus. She feels around in her pockets for the brass knuckles. She can see the soft spots in the whooping jock's cranium. She moves.

The doctor is shivering. Gin is dripping from his beard. The jock is humming a Nelly tune and twirling the broken halves of the stick. He raises his arms and screams.

Crenshaw looks up from the steaming dishes in the back. He hears clinks and clanks. He moves.

The scene is a freakshow, a revival. Dana's standing on a barstool choking Nelly as Red chews on his leg. Stoykoff is dancing like a native and chanting. Crenshaw grabs a Maredsous, a napkin, and begins writing a poem.

So where is Captain Longhorn's body? Nobody knows…nobody but the Murder Mystery.